Chances
by WritingForHugs
Summary: Sometimes all you need is a little honesty and a little bravery. Everlark. AU. One shot to get me back into the swing of things. R&R! *Mentions of alcohol/drugs.


**A/N: I've spent way too much time away from writing, but now (I hope) that I'm back. I hope you enjoy :) All grammatical errors are my own.**

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"Katniss," Haymitch's voice was solemn. Katniss stared at the carpet with glassy eyes. "Katniss, I know you can hear me." Her uncle never called her by her real name. It was always some nickname or whatever he could dredge up through his alcohol-drowned mind.

Haymitch had long been a functioning alcoholic. His wife had died during childbirth along with their daughter many years ago, which was why Haymitch took such good care of Katniss and her sister after their parents died. Prim and she were like replacement daughters, yet he still couldn't quite pull himself away from the bottle.

Katniss didn't blame him. She understood now, more than ever, why drinking was so appealing. Why people turned to drugs. Why people tried to block out the pain with some sort of substance. She wondered if she would reach that point, and how long it would take to get there.

"You need to eat something. And have a shower. It smells like… like-"

"Like death?" Katniss mumbled, her throat dry and scratchy.

"Oh, don't be so melodramatic," the older man scoffed.

"Go away. Close the door."

"No."

Katniss rolled over and pulled the duvet over her head. The darkness was calming. The suffocating feeling of the heavy material was almost kind. She still pulled the blankets away so that she could breathe, however, her body's instincts overriding her heartache.

"Seriously, sweetheart, don't push _me_ away, of all people. Your parents wouldn't want this, and neither would Prim."

"Bullshit."

"It's funny that you're still able to swear like a godamn sailor, but that you can't drag yourself downstairs and try to eat."

"My entire family is gone," Katniss said. "I'm not hungry."

"I don't care. Get up."

"Piss off, old man."

"Fine. But don't forget that I'm still your family, and that I've lost family too," Haymitch exclaimed, turning and walking away, leaving her bedroom door open on purpose, allowing light to stream into the dark cocoon his niece had built.

Katniss held out her middle finger in his direction before curling up again, clutching her sister's childhood teddy bear to her chest. She could still smell her perfume.

The Everdeen sisters were orphaned aged ten, almost eleven, when their parents were involved in a car accident on their first night out together since their youngest had been born. She and her sister were taken in by their Uncle Haymitch. Katniss was eighteen now, an adult, and instead of celebrating this fact and the end of her school career with her peers, she was mourning the loss of her sister, who had been killed in a car crash also.

Katniss suspected if there was some sort of curse running through her family. It sure seemed like there was.

Prim was way too young to die. She was fourteen. Her birthday presents had been opened mere weeks before. Katniss blamed herself for Prim's death, though everyone assured her that it wasn't her fault. Prim had been at a friend's house to study, and had promised to be home by eight. Katniss had fallen asleep in front of the TV waiting for her sibling to arrive, and was woken by a knock on the door.

"Miss, is there a parent at home that we can speak with?" the cop had asked, removing his hat from his head as his college looked away at the flowers lining there path.

"They're both dead," she had answered. The cops looked at each other with wide eyes.

"Err… a guardian, maybe?"

"He's at work. What's going on?" Katniss had narrowed her eyes, only just catching herself on the doorknob as her whole world collapsed around her.

Primrose Everdeen had begun the short walk home through the well-lit suburban streets when it had begun to rain. Mr Mellark, the owner of the local bakery, had seen her and offered to give her a ride home. Everyone knew Mr Mellark and Katniss knew he was a good man. His youngest son was in her class.

They had been just five blocks from Haymitch's home when a mixture of the slippery roads and traffic had resulted in a head-on collision which had killed both Prim and Mr Mellark instantly.

"Where are you going?" Haymitch asked. Katniss pulled open the fridge door and drank straight from the juice carton, shrugging her shoulders. "Sweetheart, just tell me. It's not like I'm going to be able to stop you. You're an adult and you're fully able to make your own stupid decisions."

"There's a party."

"Where? Whose is it?"

"Just across town. Cato Matthews."

"Be careful," her Uncle said, staring down at the crossword on the newspaper. Katniss yanked her bag over her shoulder and slid her phone into her pocket.

"Whatever. Maybe tonight I'll be hit with the curse," she said, waltzing out of the kitchen.

Haymitch looked up from his paper and frowned. "Hey, come back here a minute will you?"

Katniss groaned and reappeared. "What?"

"Don't talk like that, okay? I know this has been tough on you, it's been tough on a heck of a load of other people as well. Stop this aloof attitude you've suddenly caught."

"I'm not aloof."

"Yes you are. You're acting like you're the only one who's be affected. Have you even spoken to the Mellarks recently?"

"No. They hate me, right?" Katniss said with a raise of her eyebrows. Haymitch shook his head and looked back down at the crossword. The front door slammed shut.

During the first month, Katniss had become something of a recluse. She sat at home sleeping for exorbitant amounts, doing nothing but visiting the bathroom and picking at the meals Haymitch brought up.

She scoured Facebook and Twitter under the darkness of her room and found the well-meaning messages left on Prim's wall. She saw how people had paid their respects and moved on. She found the messages on Peeta's wall as well, but his lack of online presence was painfully obvious since the last time her had posted anything was a tweet replying to his brother about meeting up during the upcoming break.

Somehow she found inner strength as time went by. One day she found Haymitch crying as he attempted to start clearing Prim's room. She had never seen the man cry, and the silent tears that rolled down his unshaven cheeks pulled her out of her stupor.

They helped organize her room together. Sentimental items were locked away, and the rest was given to those in need. _'It's what Prim would've wanted.' _

It took days before she could face the outside world again, and just minutes after she had gone outside to water the primroses in their front yard, Delly Cartwright appeared with her Dalmatian puppy.

"Katniss! Hi!" she had called, her smile stretching from ear to ear. "How are you? How's Mr Abernathy?"

Katniss had spent a painful five minutes 'chatting' with the cheerful girl before she made up an excuse and fled inside. Haymitch had laughed for a solid ten minutes at her expression.

And now, three months on, Katniss felt considerably stronger. And when Johanna had informed her of a party that was taking place across town, she had surprised both herself and her friend by saying yes.

"Brainless, you're gonna shock everyone by turning up. I think everyone thought you were dead or something," the spikey-haired girl had said, unwrapping a rectangle of gum and popping it into her mouth.

"Well, don't we all like surprises?"

"You don't."

"I'm not the one being surprised."

"But you're sure, right? You are gonna go?" Johanna had asked. Katniss nodded. "Everyone is gonna be there, just to warn you."

"Go big or go home, I guess."

Katniss rolled down the window and inhaled the fresh air. Darius grumbled from the opposite side of the back seat, taking a drag of his cigarette and rubbing his bare arms. Gale nudged her arm and grinned.

"I'm glad you're coming tonight. Prim wouldn't have wanted you to reduce your party lifestyle any further."

"Prim also wouldn't have wanted you to be a jerk about my social life."

"Prim would've laughed," Gale chuckled.

"Yeah, she would've." Katniss rolled her eyes. Gale slung his arm around her arm, and Katniss stared out the window, counting the streetlamps they passed.

The party was loud. You could hear the thumping bass as you turned onto the street. Katniss swallowed the lump in her throat.

"You'll be fine, Catnip," Gale assured her.

"Yeah, and you have us lot to back you up if someone tries to fuck with you," Johanna added. Madge turned in the passenger seat and flashed Katniss a smile.

"Come to me first, though, okay?" she said. "We all know how these three get when they're drunk and/or high." She gestured to Johanna, Gale and Darius in turn and Katniss laughed.

"As if you're any better, Madge."

Johanna parked a few houses away, and Katniss wiped her sweaty palms on her thighs as they walked. _It's just a party. You'll be fine. This will be good for you. Maybe you need to get drunk and just let loose. _She followed Johanna up the path to the house, and Gale squeezed her shoulder, ducking his head slightly to get through the door.

What hit her first was the smell inside the expansive colonial house. It was a mixture of sweat, body spray and cologne, alcohol, and what she suspected was weed. The bodies inside were packed in like sardines, a writhing mass that she had to fight through. She didn't miss the stares and double-takes and the whispers that followed her. She just swallowed her fear and her pride and gulped down the first solo cup that was passed her way.

Two hours in, and Katniss was more than a little drunk. She was currently sitting beside Madge on a couch in the den, giggling hysterically at a joke she didn't actually understand. Every time their laughter began to trailer off, Madge would snort and they would be launched into another laughing fit.

There had been plenty of people grabbing her and hugging her and telling her that they were _like totally sorry _for her loss. She just took it in her stride, enjoying the feeling of her anxiety flowing away with her drink.

Darius and Johanna were making out in the corner, higher than Katniss had ever seen them, and Gale had disappeared somewhere. She was sure she could hear his rowdy shouts from somewhere even over the pounding music. He was probably playing beer pong and completely wasted.

The feeling of all her inhibitions sliding away left her feeling light and airy, so when she was offered a small blue pill from a face she didn't quite recognise who promised that it would wear off in a few hours, she joined in with the large group of participating people and swallowed it down without much thought. Pretty soon the room began to sway ever so slightly. Not enough to make her nauseous, but enough to make walking just a little bit difficult. She looked at Madge and laughed when she realised that her blonde friend had been making out with some guy next to her and she hadn't even realised. She patted Madge on the head, grabbed her empty cup, and left the room.

The game of beer pong was still going, though Gale was nowhere to be seen, and the music wasn't getting any quieter. Katniss filled her cup and laughed when the liquid spilled over onto her hand.

"Whoopsies," she wiped her hand on her skirt and sipped her drink so that it wouldn't spill over anymore, joining the crowd of people dancing. She found Marvel Hayes and Darius smoking in the hallway and turned the other way, trying to find Johanna or Gale, but instead her face hit a broad chest.

"Fuck, I'm sorry," she said, bracing herself on the wall.

"No, don't worry about it," the person replied. Katniss looked up.

Oh, _shit. _

"Peeta!" she exclaimed.

"Katniss, how are you?" Peeta asked. Katniss stared at him, shaking her head. She didn't know _he _was going to be here. She guessed she should've expected it really. She shouldn't even be surprised. Of course he would be here. He probably got over himself months ago. He had always been a social figure, with an ability to be friends with everyone.

But now, with his blue eyes slightly hazy and a red solo cup in hand and his broad shoulders towering and his smile crooked, she couldn't face him. She should apologise. She should say _something_. Instead, she chickens out and runs, leaving him standing by himself. She hides in the pantry, sliding down the wall to the floor and holding her head in her hands. Why does he have to be here? She pulls a packet of Oreos off the shelf, assuming that Cato won't mind, and eats them, her mind working in overdrive.

She hasn't seen a single member of the Mellark family since before the accident. She feels responsible for the kindly baker's death, because if she had just had her car fixed and gone to pick up Prim, instead of letting the fourteen-year-old walk home, none of this would've happened. No one would be dead, and an invisible wedge wouldn't have been driven even further between her and Peeta.

They had run in similar circles, thought they had never be exactly close friends. He was from the richer part of town, which although wasn't saying much, it meant that they didn't hang out as often as she did with Gale and Johanna and Madge and Darius, and he did with Delly and Mitch and Cato and Glimmer.

They used to be good friends in elementary school through kindergarten and third grade, but drifted apart pretty quickly and never really reconnected. Katniss doesn't know if she regrets that decision or not.

It didn't help that he was devastatingly attractive. And kind. And thoughtful. He was an all-round good person with a God-like appearance. She admitted that she thought he was cute. She hated that she couldn't be friendlier like her sister had been. Her head spins. The mixture of alcohol and loud music and an unidentified drug making her feel dizzy.

"Katniss?" she looked up at her name being called, and found Peeta standing in the doorway. "Can we please talk?"

She doesn't reply, chewing on her Oreo in silence, staring down at the thick carpet beneath her. Peeta closes the door behind him and sits opposite her, resting his head back on the pantry wall. They don't say a thing for a while, just sitting there while the party rages on around them.

"Oreo?" Katniss offers, handing over one of the biscuits.

"Thanks," Peeta chuckles, twisting the biscuit and licking the icing. "I feel like a kid again when I eat these."

"Isn't that the idea?"

"Probably. It's all a marketing ploy."

They eat in silence, and Katniss nudges the snack box over so that it sits in between the two of them. Peeta takes another biscuit.

"We need milk with these. It's not the same otherwise."

"Marketing ploy yet again," Peeta says. Katniss smiles, her gaze flickering up to meet his for a split second.

"I'm sorry about your Dad," she whispers. Suddenly the atmosphere in the room feels a lot different. "It's my fault they both died. And your Dad was a brilliant man, Peeta."

"It wasn't your fault. It wasn't anyone's fault. It just happened," he says softly. Katniss runs her fingers through the carpet fibres.

"I would've picked her up, though. I just needed to get my godamn car fixed, but I was too lazy to do it. I should've had it fixed, picked my sister up and then your Dad wouldn't have had to cross that intersection in the rain. He could've gone straight home."

"It's not your fault."

"It is."

"Katniss, it isn't. My Dad is just too kind for his own good."

"So are you," Katniss scowled. Peeta stared at her. "You're exactly like your Dad. I can't believe you don't want to kill me."

"Well, I don't think either of us need any more death in our lives."

"You're probably right," Katniss said, running her hand through her hair.

"You look really pretty tonight," Peeta says. Katniss' hand stills.

"I have stains on my skirt and smell like weed," she remarks, wrinkling her nose.

"So do I."

"Oh, so you're wearing a skirt under those pants?" Katniss asks. Peeta frowns for a second before laughing along with her.

"Don't tell anyone, okay?"

"Never would I ever."

"You do, though, look pretty. You always do," Peeta says. Katniss feels her cheeks beginning to burn.

"You don't look too bad yourself."

"I remember when we were friends back in elementary school. We used to do finger paintings."

"I was never any good at them- especially compared to the miniature Monet next to me," Katniss rolled her eyes. "I can distinctly remember Miss Trinket pinning your paintings on the wall and saying how brilliant they were and just patting me on the head like I was a dog and saying 'good job Kitty'."

"And you always scowled," Peeta laughed. Katniss narrowed her eyes at him. "Just like that!" Katniss laughs, watching the way his eyes light up.

"I wish we had stayed best friends." Peeta murmurs once their laughter has died down.

"Can we be friends again?"

"I thought we've always be friends. Just from afar."

"From afar?" Katniss smirks.

"Yeah. We hung out sometimes, and we got on just fine. I think we could be friends again, though."

"Gale might get jealous."

"Yet he's sucking face with Madge most of the time."

"You noticed?"

"He's like a fucking hoover."

"He kissed me once. When we were thirteen and oh-so innocent," Katniss remarks, biting her lip.

"What was it like?"

"Like a hoover," a grimace works its way over her face. "It was a pretty shit first kiss."

"I was your first kiss."

"Wait- what?"

"Yeah!" Peeta says, sitting upright. "In second grade! We had a parents day, and saw some of the Moms and Dads kissing, and you said that you thought I was gross and I said that it was something only adults did, and you said-"

"-that I didn't think it was fair for us not to be allowed to do something," Katniss muses. "I remember now."

"How was I?" Peeta asks, his expression sheepish.

"At kissing?" Katniss asks, her eyes wide. Peeta nods. "I don't know. You were okay I guess. Not that I can remember."

"Wow, thanks for the compliment."

"I'm drunk, okay?" she says, kicking his knee lightly. He grabs her ankle. "And someone gave me some pill a few hours ago. I don't know what it was."

"How irresponsible."

Katniss tries to pull her leg back, but Peeta keeps a firm hold on it. His fingers are wrapped firmly around her ankle, and her bare skin burns beneath his touch. Their eyes lock onto one another –silver against blue- and Katniss stiffens when his hand travels a little further up her leg, caressing her calf. She wonders how far he will go, if he'll stop or if she'll stop him. His eyes seems darker all of a sudden, and Katniss feels her stomach tighten under his gaze.

"My Dad, he- he told me that I should always tell the truth," Peeta murmurs, his thumb rubbing back and forth over her leg. "And I'd hate to dishonour what he lived by. That honesty was the best policy."

"Why? What do you want to say?"

"I really like you, Katniss. I have for such a long time, and I was always afraid to tell you. And when Prim and my father died, I was afraid that we'd never speak again."

Katniss exhales, her head feeling light and airy, and she doesn't think it's from the drink or the drugs. Peeta is staring at her. He's opened up to her. Her heart is pounding is so hard that she thinks it's going to crack her ribs.

"Prim said I was too uptight about everything."

"What does that mean?" Peeta asks.

"It means that I need to take more chances," Katniss breathes, moving forward and reaching for Peeta. She's pretty sure the alcohol is talking at this point, but she still leans forward, fixated on his lips.

"Here's to taking chances," Peeta says, his voice throaty and low, before he leans forward and captures her lips with his. Katniss scrabbles at the front of his shirt, using it as leverage to pull herself closer to him. Peeta is still sat cross-legged while Katniss kneels, and his hands anchor themselves on her body; one on the small of her back, the other on her hip.

Katniss feels like she's on fire. Peeta's mouth is making her body turn to jelly, and every stroke of his tongue against hers sends shivers down her spine. She pulls away first, pressing her forehead to his. She closes her eyes and listens to the sound of the two of them panting. His mouth presses against hers again, and she pulls him back, coxing him to hover over her. She pushes the empty Oreo packet away and parts her legs, gasping when he drops between them.

He's hard already, and Katniss slides her hands under his shirt, feeling the muscles in his lower back shift and tighten with every movement. Peeta groans, kissing down her neck. She can easily see how they would get carried away.

"Peeta," she interrupts when his fingers trace the exposed skin between the bottom of her shirt and her skirt where they've moved in opposite directions.

"I'm sorry," he apologises.

"Don't be. I just- I don't want to have sex with you in Cato Matthew's pantry," she says. Peeta pushes himself upwards a little more and smirks.

"Who said anything about sex?"

"Here's to taking chances, right?" she say, inhaling his scent.

Once their heart rates slow, Katniss yawns, rolling over and laying her head on his chest, over his heart. She feels exhausted. The mixture of the stress of the first party she's been to in months, mixed with all this with Peeta has robbed her of all her energy. All she wants now is to curl up in her bed and sleep, but she supposes that Peeta's warmth and the plush carpet will have to do.

She doesn't realise that she's fallen asleep until the pantry door bursts open early the next morning and a frantic yet hungover Johanna appears.

"She's here!" she calls over her shoulder. "She's fine."

"What the-" Peeta croaks, pushing himself upright and looking at Katniss. She blushes and looks away.

"Christ, Brainless. We thought you'd run off. We called Haymitch but he didn't answer. We called you. You left your phone with Madge," Johanna gives her an exasperated smile.

"I'm okay, Jo." She reassures her friend.

"Yeah, I can see that."

"Are you alright?" Peeta asks. Katniss smiles at him. His hair is so endearingly ruffled, it hard to believe that it is his natural bed hair and not styled in any way.

"Why wouldn't I be?"

"I don't know. I just-"

"I'm hungover. Nothing I can't handle," she says, straightening the collar of his shirt.

"I'll leave you two to your own devices," Johanna snorts. "Brainless, we're leaving in five if you want a ride."

"Alright, thanks Jo," Katniss murmurs. The pantry door closes.

"About last night…"

"It's okay."

"Really?"

"I kissed you back, right?" she says in a hushed tone. Peeta grins and kisses her.

They pick their way through the aftermath of the party. There are still a few people passed out on pieces of furniture or the floor. The cool morning air feels refreshing against her flushed skin. Gale is carrying Madge to Johanna's car, and Darius is already smoking a cigarette in the passenger seat. Katniss turns to Peeta.

"How are you getting home?"

"I'll figure something out."

"Call me?"

"Okay." Peeta tucks a strand of hair behind her ear. Johanna honks her car horn impatiently. Katniss ignores her and stands up on her tiptoes to kiss Peeta. A hand on her neck holds her close. She grips his belt loops.

"I better go before Johanna kills me."

"I wouldn't want that," Peeta says, kissing her once more. Katniss ducks away and climbs into the car, unable to fight the smile on her face.


End file.
